Today the weather is being very appropriate with it’s cloudy, gloomy, overcast, ready to rain at any moment feeling.  It’s lending itself to early morning reflections, pondering what the disciples might have felt on the day which we will commemorate as a community tonight …

Their friend was undergoing unthinkable physical and mental torture.  The one who healed so many was enduring pain unimaginable.

Their leader gave up without a fight, led away like a helpless lamb to slaughter. Though they were willing to fight for him and bring about the much anticipated revolution, he brought peace to the chaos and even healed an injured enemy combatant.

One of their own close friends betrayed their leader and friend. Would the authorities be coming for them next? How long did they have? What punishment would await them?  Is there a cross being shaped for them even now?

What of their hope, joy, and love?  Shattered.

What of their emerging theology – the idea that this carpenter theologian from nowhere is the long awaited Messiah?

Could they return to their former places of worship? Would they be accepted? Where can salvation be found?

Would they be laughed at and rejected by their family and friends?

How would they provide for themselves and their loved one?

Sadness.
Humiliation.
Torture.
Death.

We only put the “good” before this “Friday” because we know what’s coming on Sunday.  There are many times I want the joy of Sunday without reflecting on Friday and Saturday.  I enjoyed the previous Sunday’s triumphal entry. I even like the commemorative celebration of God’s faithfulness in the comfort of the pre-prepared upper room. Not so excited about a late night prayer session. Terrified of Friday’s trials and torture. Even more terrified of Saturday’s silence and the uncertainty.

Abba Father, help me to enter into the depths of all that You secured for Your people through the horrors of the cross.  Help me to deepen my roots in You as I seek to better understand all that my redemption cost – not out of guilt or a morbid sense of masochistic pleasure. Rather, let these moments deepen my resolve to follow hard after You.  And brighten the joy of the immeasurable treasure gained through Your willing sacrifice. Thank you Jesus. Oh may the praise of my lips and the actions of my life rise, even as Your amazing Love comes down.