I’ve known that for a long time.

I’ve known that without having spent thousands of dollars at a psychologist’s office (not that doing so wouldn’t have shaved some years off of my learning curve).

Sure, they may have played supporting roles in the drama of my life, but long before they were, I have come to believe that God was at work planning and shaping what was to be my life. At the same time, we all have an enemy who takes great delight in tearing down and destroying that which God is creating.  One of the guiding verses of my life is John 1:12-13, “But to all who did receive him who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.” Ultimately, I believe that my existence was planned by God, even if I wasn’t planned by my birth parents.

I’m convinced that our lives are completely redeemable, that no matter what has been done to us, nor what we have chosen to do;

“If God is for us, who can be against us? … Who shall bring any charges against God’s elect? … Who is to condemn? … Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? … No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels more rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:31-39)

Not even our own past, our own choices can disqualify those who would chose to repent and allow the work already completed by Jesus Christ to effectually heal and renew us into the image of God’s beloved Son. I’ve had many goals in life, but Christ more fully living in me (Galatians 2:20) and to be conformed to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29) is becoming THE most important goal, everything else is crap (Philippians 3:8).

There are only a handful of sermons that I think have truly shaped my life, that I recall from time to time and actually remember (that probably discloses more about me than those I’ve had the honor and privilege of learning from!). I think hearing Christine Caine for the first time at the One Day Catalyst in Birmingham less than a week ago will be one of those experiences that continues to shape my spiritual development for a long time. Not only did she speak with authority from Scripture, she spoke with passion and practicality.  And through her, I was able to draw closer to being obedient to Jesus.

If you’ve ever heard her speak, you’ll know that she speaks fast.  Faster than i can type. And during the last session, I just gave up with the intention of purchasing the audio download (hmm … maybe that was a marketing strategy … just kiddin’).  Even though I wasn’t going to purchase anything else (I have a shelf full of books to read already) I felt God’s nudge to purchase Unashamed – her newest book.  I regret nothing.

Throughout it’s pages I related to a woman who had things done to her beyond her control, and who later chose her own sin. Caine speaks with candor about both and how these grew roots of shame and perfectionism in her own soul.  And how she gained freedom. And gained freedom again. In fact, she hits hard on the need to stay free through daily diligence.

This book is not snake oil. It’s the real deal. From accurately dissecting the differences between guilt and shame, to the application of time tested remedies to the soul, to landing in the realm of hopeful realism, Caine masterfully leads readers into the wilderness.

Yes, I said the wilderness. Often I want to get out of the wilderness without seeing the purpose that God has for those times in my life.

“We all have some version of the wilderness to go through. It’s a season that exposes how vulnerable we are, how defenseless we feel, how small we are in comparison to the wide expanse of this world. It’s how God prepares us to be well able to overcome the giants in our lives. It’s a place we cycle through over and over again in our lives – but in different areas – always getting freer and freer from shame each time. It is no unexpected detour, no wrong turn, no mistake in navigation. It is the path to freedom God has chosen” (p 109)

What was most refreshing personally was realizing that finding yourself in the wilderness again isn’t a judgement from God nor a sign of personal failure. No, instead it’s a place of preparation and that having old triggers pushed are learning and growing opportunities rather than signs of failure or condemnation!

“So many believers make it this far: They decide to risk exposure and reach for healing from shame; they change their posture and start moving while still hurting; they make it through their exodus and even experience one or more separating miracles; they get through the wilderness and step determinedly into their promised land – tearing down walls and facing their giants. Then they experience a bungee-cord moment. They see the baggage they are still dragging, and they stop there! Their eyes remain glued to the ugly baggage exposed – and all they can think about are all the shame-filed memories of the past” (p 182-183).

Friends – all of these trials are designed for our good, for our growth, for our freedom. We still have to make wise choices and take hold of the healing that Christ Jesus has worked for and made accessible to us, however, the battle need not be a point of failure! Instead, the battle is where freedom is won. The battle need not be a point where we feel condemned for the lack of our own perfection! Instead, I’m convinced that the battle is allowed by God in order to remove the dross, to purify and not to destroy (Malachi 3:3).

If you’ve ever struggled with shame or perfectionism, I’d highly recommend reading Christine Caine’s Unashamed to find practical paths of freedom. And maybe even freedom again.